i just want to say thank you for all the phone calls, emails, texts, instagrams,and comments on the blog. it truly has helped beyond words than i can explain. to know how much love i have in my life is beyond comforting. to know that you guys know how much this kitty meant to me, well that speaks to me. it shows that i have true friends and family in my life that listen to me, that know my heart, that love me. if you knew how much i loved her, than she had to know too. all of your comments here on the blog were also so comforting to know that you read the post, understood, and had similar feelings and situations.
i drove to my parents yesterday. i sat in silence much of the way, sometimes listening to the christmas mix i was SOO excited about, but from time to time i couldn’t help but to cry. i didn’t really feel like talking to anyone, normally i call everyone under the sun on a road trip. the night before i stayed with my friend natalie. she had me watch oprah’s soul to soul. she loves that shit. it was all about the soul, god, what and where the soul is. my favorite explanation was from Thích Nhất Hạnh, a Vietnamese buddhist monk. his answer to death was not that we die, but that we transform. he explained when you look at a cloud, you don’t get sad when it disappears because it has turned into rain, snow, or ice. it hasn’t really gone away, it is just in different form. that idea, i could understand. on my drive, when i saw a bird on a post or the sun shine through a cloud or a tree that still had leaves on it…i saw lola. and that comforted me. but i also realized that i carry her with me and through me. maybe, i will become more spiritual through this process. maybe i will find more peace with what i believe god to be.
thank you from the bottom of my heart and lola’s.